Conversations with Belle- by Dad

What is a Canadian?

Belle had seen something in a cartoon about people from Canada. Keep in mind she is 12 years old. “What is a Canadian?”, They are from Canada I told her. “Do you know where Canada is?” I asked, She told me no. She was surprised to learn that she had been there, that we hosted people at our summer home from Canada and that I look at Canada every day from my office window across the Detroit River.

Basic things like this can be taken for granted by us, or not put together by her from school last year. However, the good news is Maribel is asking, inquisitive and learning.

What is a Bad Word?

Today Belle wanted to know what a bad word was, who decided words were good or bad or what is really  wrong with these words? “Are people afraid that if you hear it you will say it?” she asked. At times, Belle seems to focus on something like this and will ask over and over – what is a bad word and what are Peggy and I really worried about? Recently she has asked about violence and horror also. “Why can’t I see it on TV? Are you afraid I will do something?” she asks.

On the surface it seems like an obsession. Questions over and over, from every angle. A deeper view would be is that Belle is asking pretty profound questions about wrong, right, morality, control, self righteousness and the like. She is trying to understand the crazy world around her. Even with her speech and language issues – she comes across unanswerable questions. “Who decided a swear word is a swear word?”  I sit back and say that is a good questions.

The influence of TV

Maribel doesn’t have any children in the neighborhood or school that call on her to play. Most of her days in the home are watching TV or working on the computer. We try to get her out and about including her daily horseback riding. That said, she watches a lot of Animal Planet and likes cartoons like the Simpson’s. She is focused on the age rating of shows and is constantly trying to understand why we restrict or limit her access to violence and language. “What are you afraid of Mom and Dad?, Just because I hear it, doesn’t mean I will say it or do it”. I talked to Belle about the influence of TV – whether it be ads, shows or movies. We talked about how sometimes people learn things on TV that seem cool or make people laugh, but are really inappropriate. She seems to struggle with our role as parents and is trying to understand why we do what we do. “What are you worried about Dad”. The answer is the world!

Music

Maribel listens to her IPOD everyday. When we are in the car, she has to use it when we drive. She is currently listening to Worship Jams. “Dad – what is The Savior? What is the Son of the Lord?”  Maribel didn’t go to CCD instruction like our boys. Getting her to sit, listen and memorize was out of the questions. She also doesn’t like Church because of the singing and load noises. So I explained about Jesus and his relationship to God. “Is God a spirit or a person? Is he the alpha boss of all the people? Does he have white hair? How did Jesus die and come alive?” and then “hey, Dad, I need to learn more about this stuff”  I never stop being amazed about what she can learn and how/where she will pick things up

Reincarnation

Yesterday I was trying to get a hug from Belle, which can be a challenge. I asked, “Belle – how come the dogs get a better hug from you than me?” – “Well, Dad, maybe after you die you can come back to earth as a dog and I will give you a hug”

Grandma

“Grandma is getting older”.  This was prompted by me telling Belle that her Mom turned 50 this month. “Is she going to die soon?”. she asked – I clarified “are you talking about Mom?” – “Yes” I explained that 50 is young and her Mom could live another 50 years to which she replied, “then Grandma is getting old and I don’t want to lose her. And who is going to record my favorite shows when she’s gone?”

Explore posts in the same categories: journal, maribel quotes/ perspective, musings, special interests

Tags: asperger's, autism

You can comment below, or link to this permanent URL from your own site.