Fact based statements

I’m often told to use fact based statements when working with my daughter. I like to be a little tricky with them and use them to my advantage when possible. I have many different categories of fact based statements. In this example my daughter is complaining that some students in class whispered and pointed at her and she thought they were making fun of her even though 2 of them are her friends. she went back to home room and complained. these are some of my suggested responses-

  • the matter of fact statement- “well, I guess baking didn’t go so well today, but it’s good you stayed the whole hour. time for Drawing!”
  • the Self Esteem builder- “some students are rude and whisper when the teacher is talking, I’m very proud that you followed the rules and were quiet during the presentation”
  • the reinforcer- “you stayed the whole hour and got all your points!” Give her a bonus for tolerating the whispering, and some extra attention if she wants it.
  • the empathy fact statement- ” I hate feeling left out, my kids feel left out sometimes, whispering feels bad, those girls are your friends and you probably wish they had included you in their whispering, one of my students was very sad once when she was left out”  (she likes to know that you understand how she feels)
  • point sheet facts- “you did great yesterday even though the girls were arguing and being bossy!”
  • behavior plan facts- “even if you’re upset you’re still expected to go to class and do your work”  (she won’t like that so much but if she’s starting to draw things out and use it as an excuse I use this).
  • teen facts- “yes, teens whisper, yes teens can be rude, yes, teens don’t always follow the rules like you do”
  • Choice facts- “you made great choices in that situation!!” “some people make bad choices and they will deal with the consequences” “these are your choices now”
  • reality facts- “some girls may have been whispering, but not Dani, she’s your friend” “Dani wasn’t one of those girls was she?”
Some of those statements move her forward, some give her reinforcement when she deserves it, some help calm her, some just help her keep things in perspective without opinions, advice or arguments.
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Explore posts in the same categories: asperger's syndrome, friendship, school, strategies

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