Withholding information

Sometimes life can be too much. When you have Asperger’s syndrome you’re already dealing with sensory issues, social deficits, anxiety, and loss on a daily basis so adding someone else’s problems to the mix can be more than person can handle. We make a point not to lie or fabricate information, but sometimes holding back information like a couple breaking up, a sitter moving away, or a friendship dissolving, is the best for our family. If months go by and my daughter doesn’t even notice that her sitter has gone from weekly to monthly to not at all, or we are hanging with her brother alone instead of with his girlfriend then we’ve saved her from feeling some of the drama of our life so that she can save her energy for the drama of her own. If she asks (which amazingly she often doesn’t) we tell her the facts, if she is sad or excited or anxious, we listen and work her through it and if she’s confused about human behavior then we try to help her understand without her making it about her or because of her. Sometimes, in the life of someone on the spectrum, rejection, on top of failure, on top of isolation, should not be mixed with unnecessary grieving.

Explore posts in the same categories: advice/ frequently asked questions, asperger's syndrome, behavior, strategies

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