another service dog visit -one month down, 5 to go

Every person that comes into my daughter’s life needs to be educated about HFA/Asperger’s and her. It’s exhausting, but can’t be avoided. she does some advocating for herself, but unless we get involved the process of mutual respect goes very slow and relationships can deteriorate quickly.

I started some autism training with the dog trainer…..this is what i wrote:

As we go through this adventure with you I know it won’t be without great challenges. If maribel didn’t have severe anxiety and communication and social deficits we wouldn’t be looking into a service dog for her. After you left on Wednesday Belle seemed happy for about an hour and then complained that you were “mean” to her during the walk. Please don’t get defensive about that word, she uses it if someone has a flat affect, has a different facial expression than she expects, says something that makes her feel that they are teasing or making fun of her, or if they’ve denied her something she feels she has the right to have (among many other things). I plan to stay close from now on so that i can monitor, translate and clarify misunderstandings. Dave and I also plan to spend as much time as possible informing you of what we understand about Maribel to help this process run smooth and help us work as a team. I think maribel was reacting to you not telling her which dog will be hers and what that dog’s name will be. It’s a very long time for her to wait for something that she can’t see the logic in (you have all these dogs!)

On your way out the door you also said something to both of us that made me realize that you don’t understand Belle’s communication difficulties- “you got your dog fix”- she had absolutely no idea what you were talking about. She wanted it to mean “you got your dog”, but could tell that you were not ready to say that so she was confused and bewildered. I translated as well i could, although it’s basically a drug related term so it was hard for me to put it in words she would understand (a little like an addiction?). She doesn’t understand most things that someone just learning english wouldn’t understand- slang, idioms, sarcasm etc.

do you think in 5 months I can be a dog trainer and she can be an autism advocate? that’s what I’m planning.