reflective listening/theory of mind

belle struggles with people disagreeing with her when she complains about other students.

Her and I talk frequently about other people’s opinion, some theory of mind stuff about how others can feel differently than she does, how it feels for her when she thinks someone isn’t listening to her and how she can express that she’s not feeling listened to if someone gives their opinion instead of really listening to hers. she’s been watching nanny 911 and sees the nanny mediate between kids and their parents to help the kids express those types of feelings instead of acting out and then we have been practicing together.

It’s best to reflect what belle is saying  and try to avoid:

• agreeing that the other student is grouchy or a problem (or “hates the world”?)
• disagreeing that the other student is a problem and saying that “we love him, he’s so sweet”
• ignoring belle (unless reflecting doesn’t help)
• saying that she’s wrong or interpreting it wrong

Saying “it sounds like you feel____” or ” belle do you feel___?” or “sometimes it can seem like_____” or “is he always_____?”

and even asking belle if she’s feeling listened to and prompting her to ask to be listened to if not really helps!

***nanny 911 is also great for talking about how people with different facial expressions and in different situations might be feeling! she’s putting herself in other people’s shoes!

We even had a chance to talk about why she doesn’t like praise and how important it is to hear more good than bad from her teachers and that’s why they praise her so she should think about that when she hears it. We’ll keep working on that one!