teaming together to solve the puzzle

I wrote:

understanding the meaning of what belle says is like solving a puzzle. What I always believe though is that everything she says has meaning and it’s a puzzle worth solving. For example: they’re being mean means staff is telling her to stay on schedule and cooperate; they’re ignoring me means belle has been inappropriate and has been given a break; they’re teasing me means someone is trying to have fun with her and get her to react in a positive way that she doesn’t get; but when she says they get furious when I get lazy I wonder if someone is getting a little upset, impatient and frustrated with her defiance. We might make more progress if we work on disengaging, avoiding a power struggle, being more neutral and less verbal.
I hope you understand that I try to use what she says to make changes and improvements.

Her teacher wrote:

I totally understand the puzzle of Maribel.  I think about her constantly, and I am trying to interpret what she says, needs, and wants.  She is so worth solving.  I notice that what she is calling furious is when staff is initiating a break, and the staff has a straight face.  When staff becomes nonpunitive and nonemotional, she is perceiving that as furious.  I don’t think she is used to people truly not getting upset with her, so her interpretation of the nonemotional response comes across as furious.  When I have worked with her, trying to de-escalate, I know she truly believes that staff is upset with her.  Now that I have begun working with the comic strip conversation (2 times), she seems to understand a little bit more about staff reactions.  It is a work in progress, and Belle will come out ahead.  She has a lot of learning to do about the school setting, but I am truly impressed with the rate she has progressed thus far.

It’s nice to have a good team!